The unique allure and jeopardy of World Cup matches, the exclusivity of such seismic occasions every four years, are undoubtedly the tournament’s greatest asset. It’s what stirs the senses, arouses tension, triggers drama. And yet, heading into this weekend’s final furlong, the World Cup’s penultimate match continues to be a showdown that nobody – players, fans, broadcasters – really cares about.
To hammer home the genuine pointlessness of the third-place play-off – recoined the “Bronze Final” this year, in some vain attempt to pique interest – one of rugby union’s most famous coaches epitomised its scope for mockery best.
Asked about a bunch of provocative comments from Wales coach Warren Gatland – fresh off losing in the semi-finals – towards England ahead of their 2019 Rugby World Cup final against South Africa, England’s chief provocateur and head coach Eddie Jones could not help himself. Not one to run away from a mind game or two, Jones happily threw fuel on the Gatland-ignited fire.
“Well guys, can you just send my best wishes to Warren,” Jones told a group of cackling journalists in Japan. “And make sure he enjoys the third-fourth play-off.” Gatland didn’t; Wales lost by 23 points to New Zealand. Nobody really cared.
But the avenue for ridicule was irresistible. And so it remains now, whether it be rugby or football, as a desolate England squad somehow looks to go again against France, just three days after the most crushing defeat of their careers. Thomas Tuchel: do you fancy motivating your knackered players for a game that amounts to the “best of the semi-final losers”? Good luck with that.
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“None of our players and none of the French players want to play this match,” Tuchel told reporters after the devastating defeat to Argentina. “They want to play the final… Everyone plays to win the World Cup but that’s how it is.
“We have one less day of recovery than France, but we will do it with professionalism.”
In what has been a record-breaking World Cup for matches, 104 in total, the 103rd stands alone in its downright absurdity in modern times. At the end of a gruelling season and five-week-long tournament with more knockout games than ever before – off the back of an inaugural summer Club World Cup, 12 months ago, again in the heat and humidity of the United States – Saturday’s match in Miami represents a rarity in elite sport: actual futility.
There was criticism of Fifa’s preference for head-to-head over goal-difference in the group stage this year, which rendered some final matches irrelevant. Yet to an extent, the risk of such games in the first phase has always been present. Here, though, with tired minds and bodies, the needless risk placed on players – of injury, exhaustion, even boredom – is palpable.
“I think this match should never be played, I’ve been saying that for 10 years… it’s unfair” then-Netherlands boss Louis van Gaal said in 2014, after his team beat hosts Brazil 3-0 to finish third. Nobody really cared.
The third-place play-off was introduced in the 1934 World Cup and has been an ever-present at every tournament since 1954. Informatively, Uefa scrapped the match in the European Championships in 1980. Do you remember the clamour for such a match two years ago? Nope, me neither.
As actual football matches, they are unusual events. With first-choice players exhausted, managers understandably rest and rotate, to the point that second-choice goalkeepers often start and third-choice goalkeepers are brought on in the final minute (a la Netherlands keeper Michel Vorm in 2014). This is not the World Cup; this is pre-season.
They are also usually open affairs – if you like goalfests with no meaning, by all means tune in on Saturday night – as there has not been a game with less than two goals since 1974. In effect, this highlights the lackadaisical nature of the contest. The opportunity for inequitable stat-padding, too, is blindingly obvious.
Just ask… Just. France striker Fontaine scored four goals in a 6-3 win over West Germany in the 1958 third-place play-off, which helped him set the all-time tournament record of 13 goals at a single World Cup. Kylian Mbappe, still in the hunt for the golden boot, has an excellent chance to add to his eight goals against a depleted, distraught England on Saturday. And it isn’t right.
There is, however, one slight anomaly. For smaller nations, such as Turkey in 2002 (with the fastest-ever World Cup goal scored by Hakan Sukur in the third-place play-off against South Korea after just 11 seconds) or Sweden in 1994, grabbing the title of “third place” at the World Cup does carry some weight. It was even a proud achievement for Croatia last time out, though it would have been more significant for Morocco, who would have been Africa’s first “bronze medallists”.
Yet for bigger, more established World Cup nations, it is an utter irrelevance. Ask yourself: did you even watch England’s dull 2-0 defeat to Belgium in 2018? What about the 2-1 loss to Italy in 1990? And even if you did, did you even really care?
Maybe an aspect of it is sour grapes: the Three Lions really do not play well in these matches. Germany, on the other hand, hold the record of four third-place triumphs. That’s in addition to four World Cups, by the way.
Even host broadcasters struggle to whet the appetite. The BBC revealing that Jason Mohammad – a very accomplished football presenter, but their fourth-choice – will be on hosting duties on BBC One on Saturday night speaks to that, as does a mere half-an-hour build-up. Inevitable, though, given all their big-hitters are in New York for the final, 22 hours later.
Finally, we reach the “bronze medal” aspect, which raises obvious comparisons to the Olympics. The sanctity of an Olympic medal, no matter the colour, means bronze medal matches at the Games hold a very authentic weight. Yet at the World Cup, nothing is truly valuable below the feat of winning the trophy. For this, just ask Portugal and the Netherlands, two third-place winners, who have not reached the summit of international football’s ultimate prize.
In a climate where every last drop of juice is squeezed out of the elite football ecosystem, the World Cup’s third-place play-off is one occasion that Fifa really should bin off. It is international football’s most pointless game, retained due to revenue and content opportunities, even perhaps at the expense of player welfare.
Just bring the boys home. Because, put simply: nobody really cares.
